Heartmending
by Nyx the Coyote Kit
Summary: He'd just show up one day at my doorstep, I'd let him in. He'd mumble half an excuse then we'd get it on. Sometimes he'd call another's name. Sometimes I'd call another's name. It didn't matter. There were no... romantic feeling involved.


He's here again. We did it again. We're sitting on the bed again, naked, in silence. It's not a heavy or awkward type of silence. It's almost comfortable. It's a silence that came to existence as the time passed and the number of our encounters together like this increased. He'd just show up one day at my doorstep, I'd let him in. He'd mumble half an excuse then we'd get it on. Sometimes it's rushed, other times slow, and sometimes, he'd collapse with a huge sigh, sometimes a sob, and we wouldn't finish. Sometimes we'd do it all night. Sometimes we'd do it in the shower. Sometimes he'd call another's name. Sometimes I'd call another's name. It didn't matter. There were no... romantic feelings involved. I can't say there's no feelings at all, or they aren't deep, because I know I'd be lying. We're just not in love with each other, but we need this. This... relationship. This friendship. No one else knows about this. Okay, well... maybe his boss or Squalo knows, and either Tsuna knows and hasn't said anything, or he's taken care not to notice it, and I'm pretty sure Reborn knows. That guy knows everything, it's creepy. Though I must admit... when I first met this guy, I never thought we'd end up like... this. He's apathetic, and he may even seem somewhat cold or antisocial, but I've known him long enough now to know it's just a façade. He's sitting there beside me. He's not exactly my type, but he's very pretty, and sexy when he gets in the mood. I'm pretty sure he thinks almost the same thing about me. I take a long drag out of my cigarette as I lounge there on my bed, beside him, my arm against his because it doesn't matter.

"Hey," he breathes softly, his green eyes on the ceiling. "I was wondering... do you remember when we started this?"

I smirk, deciding I'd play with him a little. "Three hours ago. Okay, no, a little less than that. Maybe two and a half, or two forty-five." My tone is completely serious, but I can guess his pout even without looking at him.

He raises his arm and slaps the back of his hand against my chest in reprimand. "You know that's not what I'm talking about, idiot."

He settles his hand on my thigh. Naturally. I almost take no notice. I'm used to this. We are both. "Well... I don't know. The first time you came to Japan? I don't really remember... does it really matter?"

He takes a moment to think about it. I take a couple of drags from my cig, caressing the back of his hand. He knows better than to move it. "I guess it doesn't really matter... I was wondering more about the how than the when, anyway, but... yeah, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all."

I close my eyes, enjoying his company. "Something happened?" Something always happened. Espacially when he came without the rest of them.

He seems to hesitate, tries to take his hand away from my thigh, but I pin it there, entwining my fingers with his. "Nothing much, really. The usual, I guess."

The usual being his boyfriend being a total jerk. Although, having fought the guy myself some years ago, I could totally agree that his boyfriend was a nut case. "What'd he do, this time?"

"Well first, he set up a trap so the boss would punish me, while the captain was abroad on business. I was stuck in bed for three days and it might have been more if I hadn't taken it upon myself to walk back to my room even though it hurt like hell. Then he tried killing me in my sleep. Almost had me, too. Then yesterday he tried ditching this real dangerous mission on me, even if I already had another mission and he was perfect for the job. Sometimes I hate his guts and I wonder why I even bother with him... though I guess I don't really have much of a choice..."

Scratch that, his boyfriend was really totally psycho. "Tough." What else could I say, really?

"Well I managed to negociate a mission here, so it's not all that bad..." He squeezes my thigh slightly through my fingers and I smile softly.

"So, when must you get back?"

"Next week. Give or take a few days. That's about the time you were supposed to come to Italy, right? We can go back together."

"The Tenth and the others will be there, too."

"Don't worry, I know. You still haven't told him?"

I take a last drag from my cigarette, then stretch a little to stub it out. "Nah, he's got his eyes on someone else right now. Besides, it could be tedious. You know how he is."

"Yeah. Sorry."

We stay in silence for a while, just staring into space, enjoying the light of the moon filtering through the see-through curtains of my room, and the tingly feeling of laying naked next to each other. This is like a ritual. Every time he'd come to Japan, he'd come to my place, we'd do it, then talk about stuff that we don't talk about to anybody else. He'd mainly talk about his boyfriend and his affair with his boss, though from what I reckon, it's not entirely conscensual. He loves his boyfriend, maybe not all that deeply, maybe not all that purely or genuinely, but he loves him. The only problem is that the guy is nuts. And a sadist. They don't have the same view on love. His boyfriend doesn't get that maybe topping isn't the main issue in a romantic relationship. I, on the other hand... I confide in him about my unrequited love. Or more like how much of a coward I am for not telling my feelings to the object of my love. I always find some type of excuse, and then my love gets snatched by someone else...

"Who is it this time, if it's not too much to ask?"

"Your master."

He shifts, turning on his side, propping himself on an elbow and looking at me incredulously. "Seriously? This time it's Shishou?"

"Yeah. From what I understand, your master has been eying him for quite a while."

"And he finally gave in? Sucks for you... Although I guess I can't really talk since something like that happened with me..."

His boyfriend had been pestering and harrassing him nonstop for about a year and a half before he gave in and decided to try it out. Now he can't back out. What's more, his boss and captain had been all for it, saying it'd be entertaining to see how it worked out. There were some bets and death threats involved.

"How's it going with your boss? Is he still trying to be the biggest slut of the mafia?"

He laughs softly, and really it's a wonderful sound. He caresses my thigh softly, pressing his face against my arm. "He'd kill you for saying that... but yeah, he is. He got in that albino's pants the other day, from what I heard."

"That guy's got violet eyes, not red. So he's not an albino."

He thinks for a moment. "You're right. But be careful, he might set his sights on you soon. I heard the captain talk about you right before I left."

"I'll be careful, though he IS pretty sexy."

"Can't deny that... Speaking of sexy, how's it going with that baseball guy you were fooling around with? I don't hear about him except when the boss throws a tantrum because the captain slept with him."

"Yamamoto? Still the same as ever, but he's gotten over the fact that the Tenth dumped him, I think. His smile is getting genuine again. He hasn't come to visit me for a while, though, but that doesn't mean anything."

"What about that boxer?"

"Still as insufferable, but he's catching on to the fact that I'm not interested in him in the least. I think he's seeing that Basil guy right now."

"Odd match..."

"Yeah."

He stretches up and pecks me on the lips. "Feeling up for another one before we sleep?"

"Sure. Wanna top or I do it?"

"Ride me. That's really sexy. I understant why it's that baseball guy's favourite position."

I pin him down, straddling his waist. "No talking about other guys when we do it." I lean down and kiss him as his hands come to my hips and he rubs my skin softly with his thumbs.

"Of course. And let's try it in the kitchen tomorrow."

"Only if you'll be the one to ride me then."

"Deal."


End file.
